On a serious note...

[Lost Cause]

I\'m not sure if this is the right place to write about this so Jerry please take it down if it should not be here.  I just need some advice on something.  I have a friend (not me an actual friend ) that is a completely addicted gambler (usually 7 days a week in the OTB open to close).  He has lost his job(called out too much to be at the track), girlfriend (stole her money to gamble), apartment (Bet the rent money), family (borrowed/stole money to bet) etc..
I am the only one that continues to deal with him because i\'ve known the guy for over twenty years (we were 14 years old in the OTB together). He has no interest in anything but horses/gambling but does not feel like he has a problem.  Most people say the first step is to realize you have a problem..I tell him he has a problem but he does not want to admit it.  How can I get him to realize??  Should I force him to a gam-anon meeting to start listeneing?  Anybody have any experience with this??
I can\'t front him much cash anymore and the incessant calls to borrow money are going to force me to cut him loose but I want to help him if possible.  

..I just spoke to him, he is at the OTB gambling his unemployment money..

[jack72906]

Serious indeed LC.

I have a good friend(20 years) and bandmate who has been \"working the program\" for about 7 years. Not for gambling but for alcohol. Regardless of what it is, the bottom line is that it\'s addiction. Unfortunately, you or I, or anyone on this board is probably not \"qualified\" to give this person the professional help he needs.

What you/we can do is offer support, friendship, and trust to the people that are struggling with it. While it would be easy to \"cut him loose\" it would be more helpful and effective to just \"cut him off\". He probably needs you, the girlfriend, and other family members now more than ever. He clearly has a problem and he is obviously \"powerless\" when it comes to gambling.

Good luck man.

[nyc1347]

the only thing i can see that may work is to get all his family members, gf, and friends together to his house.  Hang out with him and when u both get back to his house u can all trap him in a position to at least talk to him about his situation.  hopefully with everyone at the house u can all talk to him and make him realize that his actions are affecting not only him but everyone else.  at that point, he can go for help.   Im sure thats a tough thing to be into and I cant say much more as I am not a psychologist or professional therapist.. this is just my opinion.   everyone coming together would seem pretty powerful to me though and should make him see that he is doing something wrong.. just seems waaaaaay out of control.  good luck

[Uncle Buck]

I\'ve been sober through a 12 step recovery program for many years. One thing I\'ve learned from working with newcomers is there\'s not a damn thing that can be done if the sufferer is not willing to A:) admit he\'s powerless and B:) be willing to go to any length to do the work required to recover. This is my experience, not my opinion.

About all you can do for him is drop some GA literature on his front door. When he\'s beaten down enough by his addiction to gambling, is homeless and hopeless he might decide he\'s ready to surrender. In my circles we call this perilous stage \"The gift of desperation.\"

[Dana666]

If you\'re in NYC, you might try getting him some acupuncture. If he\'s broke, he can go to the clinic at the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine on Broadway (it\'s like $30 bucks for a treatment there, I think). Can help him break out of the cycle of stress, leading to more and more bad decisions, and get him some rest, so maybe he could clear his mind and see what he has to do. Acupuncture works wonders in these types of situations, great for all addictions, even heroin. Make sure you to go to someone who practices TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine), not simply an MD who does acupuncture on the side. You could sell it to him by saying if he clears his mind, he might have a better shot to win rather than continue in the cycle of destruction. Deep down he\'s gotta know if something doesn\'t change, he\'ll be dead, literally or figuratively.

[richiebee]

Dana:

All kidding aside, my wife is a licensed practicing acupuncturist. Should I be
sleeping with one eye open out of fear that she might one evening \"needle\" my bad
habits away?

More seriously, to echo an observation from my father (a compulsive gambler) a true
gambler will not seek assistance until he has absolutely tapped out.

This whole thread has me thinking of the story of ex NFL QB Art Schlichter.

[Dana666]

wow, you\'re lucky - that would be my dream girl! i still believe it would help, but you\'re probably right; i mean, if he\'s hell bent on destruction, nothing is going to help, right? i feel for him though. that\'s the downside of all this.

[BH]

This Q and A link also has a hotline number and a list of meetings open to family/friends throughout the States.

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/qna.html

[Lost Cause]

BH Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This Q and A link also has a hotline number and a
> list of meetings open to family/friends throughout
> the States.
>
> http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/qna.html


Thank You all for the advice.  I tried to get him to a Gam-Anon meeting.  He said he would but has not picked up his phone in two days when I call him..I\'ll try another one of the suggestions here..Thank you all again.  Please if anyone else has anything else to add please let me know.